Driving in India

By Ken Wadland

On this my first trip to India, I've traveled by plane, train, bus, car, bicycle rickshaw, motor rickshaw, boat, camel, and elephant here. I've been watching their driving and provide the following summary of what appears to be their traffic rules:

Rule Number 1: Cows have the right of way.

There is no Rule Number 2.

On rare occasions, you might notice curious dotted white lines along the pavement. These are for decorative purposes to amuse the tourists, pay no attention to them. Decide for yourself how many lines wide the road is. Feel free to change your mind at any time. Try to leave at least two inches between you and the vehicles on either side, unless the other vehicle is going the opposite direction, in which case, increase this rule to four inches.

The steering wheel is on the right side of the car. This is a suggestion that you might want to consider driving on the left side of the road. However, this is only a suggestion, drive on the right side or in the middle if this seems faster. If there is a median strip in the middle of the road; treat this like a speed bump. That is, it's OK to drive on either side but slow down when crossing from one side to the other.

Unlike New York city, do not honk your horn if the traffic in front of you is stopped. This a normal condition in cities. Traffic is always stopped ahead of you. Instead, honk your horn when you want the vehicle in front of you to pull over so you can pass. Also, honk your horn to warn others for their own health that you are about to pass them at high speed. If you are in a hurry (which is almost always), don't hesitate to honk your horn almost continually. Everyone else will. Honking your horn is extremely effective against pedestrians, bicyclists and dogs. It is less effective against busses and trucks. It is totally ineffective against cows (see Rule Number 1).

When you and another vehicle want to occupy the same location, first one to get there wins, unless the other vehicle is heading directly toward you. In this case, you play an intricate game of chicken. First one to chicken out must pull to the left (see "consider driving on the left" above). If the other vehicle is a bus or truck, they are unlikely to chicken out first. However, hold your direction until a few inches before collision just in case you might win.

Once you leave the city, roads are rarely paved. And, when they are paved, they are not necessarily less bumpy than dirt roads. Often, only half of the road is paved: the middle half! This gives you considerable opportunities to play chicken and makes the driving much more exciting.

If you're a tourist, look out the left or right window continually. Never look out the front widow. This can only cause you pain and anguish. Keep telling yourself that your driver is a professional and has somehow lived to a reasonable age despite his career.

January 31, 2006

P.S.: My friends here in India tell me that there are, actually, rules of the road in India. But, they vary from town to town and are often not enforced.

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